Freedom and Love

Jaclyn's reflection -

For 2019, we decided to embark on the Online Retreat by Creighton Ministry as a group. While the retreat can be done individually, as it provides weekly themes and readings for personal reflection, every few weeks we would gather to share and build on one another's experiences. Our session this week focused on the theme of 'Models of Freedom' - people who were living lives of praise, reverence and service. A few of us mentioned Mother Teresa, for her strength of purpose and dedication, as well as her ability to persevere even in the midst of her doubt at God's presence. Other role models were the authors Henri Nouwen and CS Lewis, who both managed to detach themselves from their challenges and hold onto their faith to create works which could bring us closer to God. Closer to home, we also gained inspiration from our nurses and domestic helpers, who sincerely devoted themselves to service-oriented work most of us would squirm away from. Comparing ourselves to our models, we discussed the possible challenges (or 'disordering tendencies') holding us back from living more freely in God. These could include the desire for everything to 'be in place' before making decisions or changes, which could eventually lead to inertia. Another example was the desire to remain as sinless (in a state of grace) as possible, which could distort our notion of God's mercy and thus block us from loving more fully. Nonetheless, related to this topic, we also reflected on why God even loves us in the first place. Perhaps, for those of us who are parents, the closest answer can be found in pondering why we love our own children. Perhaps we will all arrive at our own answer in our own time, but meanwhile the online retreat would provide us an avenue to realise more deeply the nature of God's love and presence in our lives.

Dylan's reflection -

For our reflections in Week 4, we were told to name our models of freedom; people who have inspired us and those who seemed to be in harmony with the end in which God created them. Naturally, most would name well known characters in the modern history of Christianity or people who seem to have gotten it right in many areas; selflessness, compassionate, zealousness for Christ and those who serve God in many ways to the extent of being willing to give up their lives and freedom if necessary.

Observing the lives of these “models”, we paled in comparison when contemplating our own lives and how we have lived them so far. We’re lacking in many areas; and thinking about trying to name an attribute that might make us worthy of being a model of someone else is almost impossible. The thought of how I’ve been wasting my life and not doing God’s will is really dreadful and demoralizing. However, what Abi has shared that struck me was something so simple yet profound. She mentioned that just as she would be happy looking at her kids just as they are, God’s probably happy looking at us just as we are. We may not possess those attributes of saints or priests; we’re just who we are. Yet God still loves us. The thought of not having to lead extraordinary lives in order to experience freedom and be in harmony with God is so liberating.

Photo attributions:

- Henri Nouwen: By Frank Hamilton - http://www.henrinouwen.org/, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=27248126

- C.S. Lewis: Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=7049156